Conflicts of the Heart

Decisions, Decisions...This past week I have felt overwhelmed with life and making hard choices. As the week progressed my heart grew more and more heavy and I was distracted more then usual. I fully went into a particular situation having everything all planned out and in my mind set in stone. Well that all came to screeching halt when I started hearing this voice in the back of my head telling me this isn't how it's supposed to go. I felt God trying to steer me in another direction, it's hard when your plans and God's plans don't really match up. I really want to do it my way...but I know that making this big decision should be done with a prayerful heart and turning to him for guidance (even if he tells me No, and that he did). I feel like I'm closing a door that I've being trying to keep open because I'm scared of what's through the new door. (I really just need to put my big girl pants on and do it...it's always harder following through right?)

This past year I have worked really hard on letting God lead my life not only on the big & hard stuff, but including him in everything that I do. Last summer God was stretching and molding my heart for him in a way that I hadn't felt in awhile. It was a beautiful Love affair.... (I know it sounds cheesy but it was) I was able to spend quiet time with the Lord and Rest in him....something that I hadn't put much effort into prior. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with God....life just happened. I got busy with school/work/family/friends (the list of excuses goes on and on)  and taking a chunk of time out of my day to hang out with God wasn't on the top of my To Do List. It is so easy to get caught up in all the "Things" of this world. We all have a specific "Thing" that comes to mind....for me it's choosing to watch the newest Tv show or getting caught up and useless drama. If I spent half the amount of time I do watching Tv, hanging out with God we'd be a lot closer.

Normally when I get into a funk I might pick up the latest self-help book or inspirational story. They may be good reads but honestly what have they done for me so far....not a whole lot sadly. So why not dive into the greatest self-help book of all time...the bible. I don't know why I'm so surprised every time I turn back to the basics and seek him out. I'm never disappointed in the results I get...

So the week ahead, I am going to give my mind and heart a mini-makeover, refocus and get out of this funk. I want to fall in love with God all over again and get back to that restful place. (I mean Valentines Day is coming up ya know, ha ha)

My Verse of the Week:

"Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning. For in You I do trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift my soul to You."       Psalms 143:8