Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Waiting Game

I feel like I'm in a good place right now....other than the strong desire and need to get out of my parents house!! I am currently in the saving process right now and am crossing my fingers that I can be a home owner in the near future. Finding a house in my price range (home girl isn't bringing home a huge stash being a teacher) in a neighborhood I like isn't the easiest. I sure don't want to live alone in the ghetto and I sometimes feel like that's all I keep finding. (not that I have anything against those parts of town, I would just prefer not living in a place I might get shot.) Anyways, moving on....So the search for my first home is still on! I will give ya'll updates when the purchasing process grows closer!


I finally have a job doing something that I'm passionate about and love! I was blessed by getting hired at the last minute in August and work with an amazing woman! I honestly couldn't have dreamed or thought of a better working relationship with this girl. We get along SO well and have really made Kindergarten at our school OURS! We were both hired on the same day and so we started out on an even playing field which was scary and exciting at the same time. We felt like we had no idea what we were doing in the beginning, but now are more excited then ever for next year. We are currently planning Kindergarten Round-Up....(SO exciting) We're going with a Hollywood theme and can't wait to get it all planned and meet the new little critters. We love our situation, but I always have in the back of my head that we don't work for the school...but the district. They could up and move us or not renew our contract if they feel like it. I can't imagine not working with this specific group of people, it just clicks! Our district is changing things and it looks like we're going to have a lot of movement in the near future....I'm crossing my fingers & toes and sending tons of prayers up that our little bubble isn't affected for at least another year. 


I go through my up's and down's with the fact that I'm going to be 25 this year and am still SINGLE. I definitely thought that my life was going to look significantly different at this point. I am perfectly okay with the fact that I haven't found Mr. Right yet, I trust that God has a plan for my life and it just isn't time yet. It doesn't change the fact that I feel alone sometimes and wish/ hope for those pieces to fit faster. I introduced my friends before....but I have been blessed with some amazing people in my life. "The Group" if you will....is made up of people I've been friends with for a long time. We've celebrated together the bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, births, new jobs, life....the list goes on and on. I love these people so dearly and it's not a big deal that I'm the only single person in the group. I know that they don't care and have never treated me differently or not included me....it's more me and my own insecurities that get the best of me sometimes. I could go months and months with not feeling weird or down about being single, but then I have that off week where it's like BOOM... I feel alone and think what the crap! I just don't want to end up living my life feeling like this picture....
I want to be green someday! It's my favorite color! haha
 I realized last year that I wasn't enjoying the season of life that I'm currently in, I was always wanting to skip ahead and get the marriage and kids part. I have really worked on enjoying the Here and Now...and I feel like I have learned a TON about myself over this past year. I have done a lot of soul searching and worked on myself which I didn't think was necessary before. I started dating a guy (not dating this person currently) around the time school started and realized that I had never really dealt with some of my emotions from a past relationship (That'll be a whole other post in itself). I had/have some emotional scars/ hurt left from this particular relationship that have kept me pretty closed off to any new ones forming. I had this huge revelation that if I didn't deal with this hurt that it was going to be pretty hard to move forward with any future relationships. So I faced the hurt and pain head on, and I know that it isn't something that is just going poof go away. But I have the ability now to realize why I feel the way I do and tools to try and change it. So FINALLY after years of being alone and caring around all this emotional baggage...I feel like I am in a good place with myself and am actually open to meeting someone! That's pretty huge if I do say so myself! haha


So here I am dealing with the understanding that my timing and God's timing are two different things. I'm thinking that God's timing is so much sweeter than mine would have ever been anyways, even if the waiting time is unknown. So I turn it all over to him the Creator and am just along for the ride. House, Job, Love....the 3 things that have brought stress to my heart lately. Now I sit at his feet and listen for him to guide my way and know that he will always love me. His Love is sweet! (Love this video...speaks so much truth about God's Love for us.)


Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

4 comments:

Tracy said...

Oh BFF! How else can I say this besides........



I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

You are such an amazing, selfless, kind hearted, wonderful, best BFF I could ask for! You are such a great teacher, friend, and woman of God. I look up to you in so many ways!

I forgot to tell though you that God called me yesterday and told me to tell you that He hasn't found someone worthy enough for you but be patient! He is finding the perfect "someone" ;)

Love you girl!! Hope you enjoy your day off!!!

Ashley said...

Thanks Girl!! You are so sweet and definitely brought a smile/tear to my face! Love you!

Molly said...

Just reading this and I'm crying, thanks a lot girl! HA!

You are such a wonderful and amazing woman! Any man would be lucky to have you, but THE right man just hasn't showed up yet. You know God has a plan for you, and he will reveal himself to you soon I have a feeling! You have so much to offer, and so much love to give. I can't wait to see you fall in love and get married, and have sweet little babies! You know that we will ALL be here cheering you on the whole way as well.

Just tackle one thing at a time, and don't stress yourself out too much about the house situation, it will all come together before you know it! And you know I'm here to help in whatever way you need!

Love you sweet friend!

MrsV said...

Ashley, I share your anxieties about the school/district situation. Chris & I were never going to even give our neighborhood school (Linn) a chance, we had enrolled Kaydee in catholic school and when the $'s kept adding up to a rediculous amount we decided to try Linn. SO happy we did, it's the sweetest smallest little school community and I know Av West is the same ( Chris went there ). I am fighting tooth & nail as our current PTO President to get the board to vote against the restucturing process, which will immediately close our school. I love our teachers, paras and students very much. I fear change, when it works don't mess with it! But apparently it's all about $, not what's best. I have my fingers & toes crossed too! Prayers daily!